Physical reaction to books

Have you ever been that scared of a book that you’ve dropped your kindle in fright, on the train, in front of lots of people? I’ve been there. I was so wrapped up in the story that I forgot my surroundings and what more can you ask for from a book?

Thankfully for my fellow rail users, I don’t throw my kindle around that often. This did get me thinking about when I have physically reacted to books and I found I had enough for a list. I’m not sure what that says about me as a reader but let me know if you have similar reactions.

Jorg eats out – Broken Empire by Mark Lawrence

The broken empire series is by far one of the best fantasy series to hit shelves in a long time. This is saying a lot considering the quality of fantasy books out there at the moment. There is one scene where Jorg, our main character, rips out a human organ and eats it. The writing was so vivid that I cringed so hard that I dropped my book. I also couldn’t eat my dinner that night (you owe me a steak Mr Lawrence!).

Taking the p**s – A child called IT by Dave Pelzer

This is so much worse as it’s a true story. I don’t want to reveal too much but Dave, as a child, is forced to eat a dirty nappy… just, yuck! I shivered whilst reading it and I’m shivering now. A great book, Pelzer is a brave man for writing this and I commend him for it.

My kindle sure is durable… - Salem’s Lot by Stephen King

This is the one I refer to in my opening. I was on the train, thoroughly engrossed in Mr King’s brilliant vampire novel when something scary happened causing me to jump in my seat, sending my kindle flying and thudding on the floor. Suddenly aware of my surroundings, I looked up and there were at least ten other rail passengers sniggering at me. The best vampire novel I’ve ever read and surprisingly my kindle still works.

Why can’t I see my book? Oh, I appear to be crying – Boy’s Life by Robert McCammon

Men are allowed to cry at books, right? This is the first of two books to make me cry and is in my top three books of all time. It’s a wonderfully written work of art that I recommend to anyone who’ll listen to me. At the end I was blubbering so much I had to go upstairs and hide in case my wife came home and thought something serious had happened to me!

Why am I crying? This book is supposed to be a comedy! – 600 hours of Edward by Craig Lancaster

This it the other book I cried to. This time I bawled to Lancaster’s awesome book which starts off funny and then hits you with all the feels. A great book, highly recommended.

“Something funny Paul?!” – Pyramids by Terry Pratchett

The late Sir Pratchett’s writing is marvellous. This is the first of his books I’ve laughed out loud at, almost continuously. It got that bad that my wife had to ask me just what the hell I was reading and what I found so funny.

I can’t tell you why I’m laughing because I’m too embarrassed – A Decent Ride by Irvine Welsh

Better known for his Trainspotting books, which are also hilarious, Welsh’s spin off series for cab driver Terry ‘Juice’ Lawson are even better in my view. I was chuckling to this so much that someone asked me what was funny but there was no way I was going to repeat the words I’d just heard, I’d be far too embarrassed!

Please be quiet… - Storm of Swords by George R.R. Martin

Storm of Swords was so engrossing during the final chapters that I had to ask my wife to be quiet and stop asking me questions because I just couldn’t believe what I was reading! This was the whole red wedding thing. Luckily for me I read it before the tv show was made and I was utterly dumbfounded by how good it was. I should really buy my wife some flowers…

What? Who? What? Wow! – Tigana by Guy Gavriel Kay

I would class this book as ‘grown up’ fantasy; it’s fantastic, beautiful and well thought out. It’s also a standalone fantasy novel which is a rare bonus. The last couple of sentences just blow your mind as you try to understand their meaning. I can’t say any more but I was literally talking out loud to my book trying to figure it out.

WWHHHHAAAATTT?? - Defending Jacob by William Landay

Similar to Tigana with the unbelievable ending, Defending Jacob had me shouting in my car at the audiobook like I had road rage. Stephen? - IT by Stephen King

I don’t want to ruin anything, but there’s a scene right at the end of IT which almost ruins the whole book. It’s just disgusting and involved Bev (those who’ve read it will know what I mean). I nearly ruined my paperback as I was curling the pages in disgust at this point. Thankfully the rest of the novel is masterful enough that it doesn’t matter.

My poor kindle – Story of the eye by Georges Bataille

I picked this book up blind after it appeared on a ‘cult favourites’ list and boy do I regret it. It’s the vilest, crappiest and downright nastiest thing I’ve ever read. It wasn’t cheap too! This all led to me throwing my kindle across the room in disgust. I’m offended that this book still appears on my cloud, it sickens me that much.




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